The ceiling below the glass ceiling | #85
On self-limitation, or the ceiling beneath society's glass ceiling
Hey friends! It’s 80° and sunny in Lisbon, Claire and I are celebrating our 2-year wedding anniversary this weekend, and Forgewell business is growing fast. Things feel good!
This week I’m handing the reins to Claire (my co-founder and wife for those new here) who’s written a fantastic post about limiting beliefs.
I’ll be back with the series on the 6 Pillars of Health & Well-being next week with a post about the most controversial pillar…food!
#1 New Stuff
A couple things dropped this week we wanted to share:
🎧 How to Make Time and Escape the Rat Race: Connor was a guest on The LifeHack show talking about making time and living with intention. Listen or Watch.
🎧 How to Avoid Burnout: Connor and I were guests on the 42courses show talking about how you can avoid burnout by managing your energy and prioritizing your well-being. Listen or Watch.
#2 The Ceiling Below the Glass Ceiling
Guest post by Claire Dinan
Society talks a lot about the glass ceiling. But what about the ceiling below that?
The one that we are inadvertently setting ourselves without even realising.
The one that stops us from even trying to reach for and break through the glass ceiling being set by others.
I’m calling it the ceiling below the glass ceiling.
Poetic, I know.
My ceiling below the glass ceiling
In some ways, I believe I can do anything.
If there’s a problem, I’ll find a way to fix it. That jar that you can’t open? Don’t you worry, I got your back.
A new operating system needs to be built for the business? No problem, I’m a google & online course away from building it myself.
You want a new D.I.Y shelf up? I’m your girl.
Emotional breakdown? We’ll get through it together.
AND. There are some areas where I draw hard lines around what I’m capable of.
When I was younger it was the belief that I was not creative because I couldn’t redraw my shoe in art. Or rather I did draw it, thought it was beautiful and some of my finest work, but when I then received an average grade for it, I was devastated and deemed myself a “numbers person.”
More recently, it’s been a constant debate between me & Connor over whether I join in facilitating workshops.
“No, that’s just not me.”
“That’s not my skill-set.”
“I don’t have the experience.”
“That’s your thing.”
“It makes more sense to split our skills across the business.”
Those are just some of the reasons I’ve given Connor over the last month, let alone the last year.
Sometimes I’ve even found myself feeling insulted that he’s asking me to do it, as though I wasn’t doing enough already (lol).
Recently, I participated in a self-development course called Making Great Decisions [side note, it was pretty life changing - I’ve put more info at the end], and I found myself reflecting on why I was so adamant on not being a facilitator.
Why wouldn’t I even try it?
And the real scary question, what was the feeling I was avoiding by not trying?
I was scared I wouldn’t be good enough.
I was worried that people wouldn’t think I was qualified.
I was fearful of failure.
So, I did the next most logical thing for a person who is terrified of failing. I decided to break through my own glass ceiling, and to give it a go.
Shattering the glass ceiling
What happened for me? I loved it.
I loved co-facilitating and feeling the energy from the group.
It gave me a new sense of purpose and satisfaction in the business that I didn’t even realise was missing.
We ended up providing a better service to our clients, and our business grew as a result.
And… I was good at it 😳.
Reframing the narrative
So why does it even matter and why am I telling you this? Promise there’s more to it than a humble brag.
The takeaway isn’t that we’re going to be great at everything we try and we should all just learn to push through the fear of failure.
What I’m trying to say is that we all have beliefs about ourselves.
Some of them have been created from childhood, some of them have been created through our experiences in life. Whilst some of these beliefs are comforting or push us to be better, some of these beliefs can sometimes be part of the glass ceiling we create for ourselves.
For me, one of the biggest belief’s in my personal glass ceiling came from shutting down my snack business, Nutty Cacao [r.i.p].
After I closed it, I felt a huge sense of failure. And that feeling of failure became part of my glass ceiling. It’s something that I’ve had to unravel over the last year as I quit my job again to join Connor in the business. All these beliefs about what I was capable of as an entrepreneur would keep me up at night.
Our personal glass ceiling are where our dreams and potential go to die.
Just kidding. But there’s a tiny bit of truth to it.
We can hold ourselves back through our own limiting beliefs, and they almost held me back from joining Connor in the business. And then from facilitating.
But the truth is, the stories we have about ourselves are just that, stories. And we can change them.
So how do we change them? I’ll give it to you my thoughts in 3 simple steps:
Recognise the belief. Often we just label ourselves, maybe as a non-creative, or a numbers person, or someone who could never do that without even realising we’re doing it. How many times have we let the feeling of failure stop us from trying new things? Sometimes just understanding that there’s a belief can be enough to want to change.
Question the belief. Play with the belief and see what’s true and what’s a story. Sometimes you might question it and the answer might still be a no [I know I do not want to swim with sharks and I’m okay with being scared of that]. But sometimes the answer might be: I don’t know. Or I’m not sure why I think I can’t do that. Or I’m scared to try.
Challenge the belief. If it’s one of the latter, give it a shot. Try reframing the fear of failure to the potential to learn. Or try telling yourself that it really doesn’t matter if you do fail. What’s the worst that can really happen?
So what?
Hopefully this article helps you question some of your own limiting narratives.
Maybe think about a story you’ve told yourself that or something you’ve always wanted to try but keep telling yourself you can’t do it.
It’s your choice to keep that belief, or to change it.
And if you do try something new, let us know how it goes!
#3 Linky Links
👩🏽🎓 Learn: The course I took was by Joe Hudson and The Art of Accomplishment. His next course (Master Class) is coming up soon.
🎧 Listen: Here’s a podcast with Joe on How to See Through Limiting Beliefs to give you a flavour of his work and perspective on this topic.
📺 Watch: Beef by Ali Wong. If you haven't watched this show yet, please please do yourselves a favour and start it now. It's one of the best series I've watched in a while and a great story of how suppressed anger and emotions in general can manifest into the ultimate revenge…😈
Thanks for Reading!
As always, your readership is hugely appreciated. We love getting comments, replies, and hearing questions so don’t be shy if something resonated (or didn’t!) from this week’s edition of One Percent Wisdom.
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P.S. We’re giving 20% off on any size bulk purchase of our new course Sustainable Productivity (aka The Anti-Burnout Course) to any clients that buy before Mental Health Awareness Week kicks off in the UK (May 15th). Drop us a line if you’d like to get this course for your team or company.
Great post Claire!